I learned a lot

By Awanda Gita - Juni 27, 2018

It's fair sometimes to feel guilty, to feel disappointed about something that you already fight for.

I learned a lot from the mistakes that I made consciously, this year, this semester, and this time. I never feel how precious to hold something vulnerable and keep it alive, I already broke it, already. I missed my promise to My god, I forgot how to be grateful that time and always think that whatever I did is good and it's always true, I thought I am too important to someone, I am the smartest, and everything goes well, I ignored the signs around me, I am too arrogant to only look the floor and do sujood there, I am blinded, seriously I am blind, I fight the right one, I believed the cover, not heart. It's karma, I learned a lot, it's karma for me and for me and again, for me.

I am giving up now on something that makes me far from where I should be, I am enough to earn My effort on something that never gives me hopes. I am too late to realize, I'm I? it's not a big obstacle but it though, seriously.  I have a responsibility to hold that thing but I can't keep it. It's only a matter, but deep inside it's far for that, it's about the future that I take, it's a risk, to feel broke. My mom always strengthens me no matter what, I fight with her with an unimportant thing, but she hugs me tightly when it becomes important. Friends only just friends, when it's over, it's over, they just bear you with tears, but your family put that smiles, your mom gives a handkerchief to wipe your tears because for her that's priceless. 

Love, obsession, are those that make me like this. I didn't believe that time if love will come itself, with no rejection on one side, with no need for cries because of break up. But how if I still admiring, can't take my eyes off from him, I'm I mistaken? but it's a normal feeling, I'm doing nothing with that guy, I just like the way he talks about life and his hobby anyway. But let's forget about it, I'm enough to describe him here.

The Obsession the one that I found not only in me but also in them. But it's for me, for my side, I put that hopes too high so I can't even touch it. because of the stairs, I made only an inch from my feet, I want to left kind of obsession that still lives in me, and I promise to change it with the willingness, it sounds quite nice.

It's hurt, but I believe that the storm will end without asking it first, mistakes, disappointed, all the bad one will teach you more than anything, I believe. There will be sunrise right there, near the two mounts that's me and both mounts are my parents. I will bring the smiles I've taken, I will. So sorry for always burdening and let both of you down. I may break and lost my first chance, but there will be the second and maybe a million chances await. 

I can, and you too, so please, believe me,  I will fix it all and if it's not, I will find the way where I belong to be. 


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